Month in Review: November

Well, the great month of November has come to a close at yeshiva, and what a month it was. I may even call it my first real month at yeshiva, as October was full of holidays and vacation, and September was on a completely different, Elul schedule (I like that, Elul schedule. Try saying it a few times). And as we welcome 2005's final month December, let us pause and recollect, review the highlights of this great month:
(in no particular order, not even chronological)

B'kiyut Chevruta Merry-go-round
The early morning hike up Mt. Arbell
Israeli Introductions
Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving, take two
The hunt for Tamar Winegust
Lunchroom Lynchings and Bathroom Mysteries
Bigman and Rabin, Caped Chumash Crusaders!
Free Shabbats in Efrat and Tzur Hadassah
ADM and the AMC
Community Service
Wireless internet
The greatest photo ever
Movies: "The Princess Bride;" "Almost Famous;" "Garden State;" "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"

Here's hoping to a great December.

PS: I am considering posting a retroactive "Month in Review" for August, September and October. Stay tuned, or don't be surprised if that happens.

Rambling, Raving, and Ranting (actually, just Ranting. Well, also some Rambling. Like this headline, for instance. But no Raving. Definitely not.)

I don't think I've mentioned this, but I feel that these two items merit being written down: the first is that it is surprisingly warm, even though it's almost December; the second is that we have consecutive "In" Shabbats, meaning that we'll be at the yeshiva for 19 days in a row. Yikes!

Anyway, the Americans had another lecture with Rav Bigman last night. Though I didn't post last Tuesday, last meeting we discussed three perceptions of God in Judaism: the Biblical Approach, in which God is "given" human characteristics so as we can relate to Him; the Medieval Approach, in which thinkers like Maimonidies postulate that God is the force, the system that powers the universe; and what I call the Einstein Approach, in which God's spiritual emanations travel as rays until they become, in our world, physical matter (I think it's like Einstein saying that energy is matter. Or something like that. Right?). All are interesting, and neither are they mutually exclusive.
Anyway, while last week we discussed these three perceptions, last night we talked about the power of language, and how the original intent of the first person is lost as (a) he puts his abstract thoughts into concrete words, and (b) the listener translates those concrete words into his own unique understanding of those words. I believe it was Rav Kook who said that language is a paradox: placing our thoughts into words automatically dilutes the original meaning, but remaining silent (and not speaking at all) means that nothing is communicated at all. I thus suggested that the next discussion be conducted in absolute silence.

WARNING: The following rant regards sports. If you are uninterested in sports, I advise you to not read the rest of this particular post. It is not often that I write a lot about sports, but this just happened to catch my eye. You have been warned.

Another thing caught my eye last night, when I was looking at some stories on CNN.com. In the sports section, one link proudly proclaimed "Ten Keys to Defeating the Colts." I was utterly perplexed at this show of self assurance. After all, the NFL's Indianapolis Colts are currently a perfect 11-0, having managed to beat all their opponents, good and bad, blowouts and close calls alike. They have the best start in the NFL since Denver in 1998, and some cautiously say that they could be the second team to go undefeated ever (the other being the legendary '72 Dolphins). The Colts were winning against every NFL opponent, and yet some online journalist has the answer that has evaded NFL coaches and players for weeks? I had to check it out, and here's what I read:
1. Run, run, run
2. Rattle Peyton Manning
3. Stuff Edgerrin James
4. Attack Jason David
5. Strong special teams
6. Press Indy's receivers
7. Don't blitz
8. Win the turnover battle
9. Don't get into a shootout
10. Play smashmouth football
Now, to me, and probably to other football enthusiasts, this appears to be both utterly stupid and obvious. To beat any team, especially a good team, the other team has to play well both offensively and defensively; it needs to play smart football and physical football; it has to have a plan of attack and execute accordingly (it doesn't hurt if you get a little lucky sometimes, too). This article just reiterates that to win, you have to do things right. And against the Colts, doing all of this at one time is near impossible. My list of how to beat the Colts, the way they are playing right now, is something like this:
1. Bribe as many referees and league officials as possible
2. Pray Manning comes down sick
3. Hope James gets lost on the way to the game
4. Allow extra defenders on the field
And, most importantly but also most obviously,
5. Score more points than they do (I surely thought this would surely be No. 10 in the article)

Oh, the things people write somtimes, just for the sake of being published...

What am I doing up so early?!

I think this may set the record for earliest post; my suitemate decided to wake me up at 6:40 in the morning, one thing led to another, and before you know it, I'm on time for breakfast. That being said, I have nothing to do for this time slot, as I am usually not up this early.

Breakfast was a bit adventuresome, as there was a loud boom! in the middle of the meal that shook the room and the tables; a second boom! followed shortly. I asked what was the cause of the noise. I was told that it was either a jet from the nearby army base passing the speed of sound, or trouble in nearby Jenin. I wanted to privately say that it was one of the bigger guys letting off some gas, but that's just me.

For those of you who have been wondering about the Israeli Introductions: my computer is somehow not accessing the wireless internet, and I therefore cannot upload the photos from my computer to the internet as easily (in the Beit Midrash it takes time etc.). Hopefully, my computer will figure things out, and we'll get back to the trivia.

By the way, did anyone notice the scoreboard link?

(The morning conversation between me and my roommate might have gone something like this:
Max: Rise and shine, Professor.
Professor Fate: You rise! You shine!
-The Great Race)

Sorry if this post comes off as scattered...

Holy Hebrew! It's The Caped Crusaders of Chumash!

Well, it's back to yeshiva life, which means it's back to the same old, same old. You know things are back to their YMG normal when yesterday's highlights include trying out a loofa (much better than bar soap, by the way) and a really disappointing pasta (well, it was quite disappointing. It was already sauced, looked ready to go-- and then it had this weird aftertaste. You know what I'm saying, right? Of course you don't). We're back in the swing of things, where surprises will be limited to the topics of learning. Not that that's always a bad thing...

Well, back to the Gmara Grindstone. Learning today included topics such as:

For what transgressions is man required to give his life?

What does the phrase "mantzpach" mean?

How does the sanctification/humiliation of God factor into Jew-Gentile relations?

How does the story of the rabbi and the prostitute in tractate Menachot, page 44a, contain the basic principles of Jewish sexual ethics?

Should one stop his prayer if a snake is on his leg?

Why do cities surrounded by a wall read the Scroll of Esther on the 15th of Adar?

Why does that city have to have its wall from the time of Joshua (or does it?)?

These are the things I deal with on a daily basis.

Last thought: today, while reading a gmara, I came across the sage "Rabin" who I pronounced as "Robin." Not the biggest mispronounciation, but with Robin, I automatically started looking for his caped crusader counterpart. Therefore, I present YMG's superhero tandem:

BIGMAN! and RABIN!

Thankgiving, take two

Howdy!

Wait, did I just say howdy? Scratch that. How about "hello"? Yeah, I think that fits me better.

I am currently spending my free Shabbat with the Jacoby family in the Jerusalem suburb of Tzur Hadassah. For the diligent readers who have been with me since Day 1, you'll remember that it was they who picked me up from the airport when I first arrived. For the rest of you, suffice it to say that Michael Jacoby was my dad's business partner for many years.

As most of the Americans managed to escape yeshiva Thanksgiving some way or another Thursday night, only four Americans took the taxi from Ma'aleh Gilboa to Jerusalem. Needless to say, I rode shotgun. After a half-hearted "farewell" to the two Canadians, I stayed with Josh to say hello to two of his YULA friends: Amanda and Dvorah. Then we too parted ways, and I took a cab to Kafit Cafe on Emek Refaim, where I eventually met up with Cary, who took me to Tzur Hadasah.

Friday was else uneventful, save watching parts of a terrible Charlie Sheen movie titled "The Chase." It was predictable, stagnant, had poor characters, and had nauseating camerawork. As Shabbat was one of the earliest of the year, there wasn't time for much else, and after dinner, some backgammon and reading, I retired for the night.

(Tangent #1: At dinner, we discussed Israeli slang*. I've been working on my slang. Really. From easy words like סבבה and אחלה to למלם (which comes from the Hebrew phrase לא מועיל, לא מזיק) and על הפנים, I've been learning new words left and right. One I'm told that is fairly new is נשנש, which I believe is the Israeli word for metrosexual. I've tried my hand at creating a new word; when discussing movies, I remarked that a certain picture was the best of its genre, hands down. Somehow, the literal translation, ידים למטה, hasn't caught hold. Neither has the popular LA greeting "what's up dog?," which, when translated to ?מה קורה כלב, amounts to confusion at best, an insult at worst.

Tangent #2: this Shabbat we read parshat "Chayei Sarah," and the first chapter deals with Abraham's burial of his wife Sarah in a cave he purchases in Hebron. To mark the occasion, I've heard that Jews flock to the cave for this Shabbat every year to visit for the occasion. These are things I have never heard in Los Angeles.

Now back to the story)

Today, Saturday, began the right way with sleeping in and reading. I was re-reading F. Scott Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby," which I had last read in tenth grade (or as the Canadians fondly note, "Grade 10"). Three years later, I was able to appreciate more fully the beauty of Fitzgerald's prose, a style that a former teacher, Nat O. Reynolds, once referred to as "a novel written in poetry." I noticed images and patterns, plot points I had never fully understood, saw characters and interactions that had failed to hold my attention the first time around.

Lunch today was interesting, as we were invited to a luncheon at the Housen house. What surprised me was that it was full of fifteen or so American families and, even more surprising, it was a pot-luck, delayed Thanksgiving feast! I should note that the turkey wasn't kosher, so it was less my feast than theirs, but the mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, apple sauce, pumpkin pie, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and cornbread more than made up for the festive bird I do not particularly savor. Later, I played with a baseball too big and a glove too small, and tossed a football with a doctor who once lived in Los Angeles and studied at NYU.

Shabbat has been over for two hours already, and it's only 7:00. We had chamin, a variation on cholent, for dinner. I was going to head over to the city to try and meet up with some friends, but seeing as (1) Michael came down sick and isn't going, (2) I am not allowed to bus or tramp (Hebrew for hitchhike), and (3) I'm running low on money, I think I'll stay in tonight.

Back to yeshiva tomorrow.

***

*For those of you who followed the star, here is a translation and transliteration of the slang terms mentioned above. Now you can be as cool as an Israeli! Wow! Just memorize the pronounciation of the words below, and your friends will be in awe of you! Unless you live on an Israeli kibbutz at a Israeli yeshiva in Israel. But if not, you will soon be the talk of town! And you, and the whole town, will love that!
סבבה- ("sababa")- means fun and good, or okay. Modifying word like "faf," sababa can be used anywhere in positive context.
אחלה- ("achlah")- same as sababa, for the most part. What, you want to know the difference? What do I look like, a linguist or something? Jeez.
למלם-("lamlem")- means neutral, it is an abbreviation of the next term.
לא מועיל, לא מזיק- ("lo mo'il, lo mazik")- means doesn't benefit, doesn't hurt. Hence, neutral.
על הפנים- ("al hapanim")- literally "on the face," it means very bad. Negative. Bad.
נשנש- ("nash-nash")- metrosexual, as the above paragraph wrote. Girly-man.
ידים למטה- ("yadayim l'matah")- literally "hands down," but so far not catching on.
מה קורה כלב- ("mah koreh kelev")- what's up dog, just minus the cool. When you think about it, dogs aren't so cool: they pee on the rug, bark, shed hairs all over. Yeah, I can kinda see why it can be perceived as an insult.

Happy Thanksgiving

Except that here it's "Happy Regular Thursday!"

I have a lot to be thankful for: challenging classes, cool friends, awesome roommates, acceptance into the Israeli culture, beautiful environs, and being in Israel for a year. I'm also thankful for my Thanksgiving feast tonight: neon-yellow potatoes, cottage cheese, carrots, olives, hard-boiled eggs, and, of course, cucumbers. Festive enough, right?

Today was a lot of fun, learning about rodef, the Jewish concept of a person chasing another to kill him. The conclusion was that the Torah does not have laws about a rodef; rather, it enumerates the laws about saving the nirdaf, the person being chased, saying that one must save the nirdaf at all costs (first by trying to cut off a limb, then ultimately killing him). So basically, after two months at yeshiva, we have learned about ben sorer u'morehl, the wayward and rebellious son who the gmara says never existed and never will exist; and different kinds of the rodef, who we learned also doesn't really exist. So two months, two units of gmara of non-existant scenarios. Fun. I also got my fourth b'kiyut chevruta, a boger named Rotam. We are learning tractate Megillah, so stay tuned on how that turns out.

Gotta go to sleep soon, but I though I'd share this from today's Torah & Science class. The topic was how to understand truth from words, first needing to make sure the words and sentences are understandable and meaningful. Then, only then, can one look for truth:
1. The potter made the urn.
2. potter urn The made the. (confusion about syntax)
3. The carpenter made the urn. (unable to match correct subject with object)
4. Anger made the urn. (confusion about subject)
5. 1024 made the urn. (subject in wrong language)
6. The derivative from 1 to 2 of x dx = 1.5. (language understood, but in numbers, non-helpful)
7. [non-English letters] (unreadable letters)

I hope you understood that. I understood that, at least, I think I understood it in class. Whatever.

Happy Thanksgiving.

PS to the "ADM and the AMC"

Some of you might have noticed that Ilan, a member of ALEPH DELTA MAO, did not participate in the AMC, except for the pictures. While he did shoot all the photos you saw in the previous post, also note that he did other stuff, like taking pictures of other stuff. He called "it modern art." I call it "wasting photos that would be bad were it not a digital camera." So here is a collage of his photos. Enjoy (?).

ADM and the AMC

Well, for those of you who have put the clues together, you might have deduced that the members of ALEPH DELTA MAO (clue #2) decided to grow out mustaches (clues #4, 5) for the Hebrew month of Kislev (clue #1). We also decided that cucumbers were still vegetables (clue #3), but that had no real relevance. We called this the AMC, or American Mustache Confederation, although the Israelis thought it was a Competition.
The rules: members of the AMC would grow mustaches for the entire month. Shaving must be done to all areas of the face, other than the mustachial region, every three days, and on Fridays for the Shabbat. And...that's about it. The members who participated were me, Micah, Josh, and Jamin', and Ilan participated at the very end, namely, the photographing of the Shaving Ceremony.I think that's about it. Enjoy some pictures of the shaving. Note the pre-shave mustache faces are sad, angry, bad-ass, or even, in Jamin's case, "grandpa." Also, note the happy, almost forced-happy, look of the clean-shaven pictures. Finally, note the collected mustache hair in the sink.It was a lot of fun, even if we were sometimes ridiculed. But it was a blast. We laughed, we cried, we itched a lot, but it was a whole lotta fun. So there.Last word for today:
Happy birthday Steven Exler, YMG colel who is turning 25! I hope you know the words by now, but just in case:

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to Steven,
Happy birthday to you!

It's coming...

The post that will go up in the near future was meant to go up next week, but due to circumstances that will be explained in the upcoming entry, all my preparations in anticipation of that post, which were to be spread out over the days leading up to the post, will be written here (got that?). These clues were supposed to go up earlier, but here they all are now, all at once.

CLUE #1: The duration of the mystery activity can be inferred from the end of the post of Nov. 1.
CLUE #2: The list of the participants of the mystery activity can be found in the post of Oct. 16.
CLUE #3: An important visual clue appears in the entry of Nov. 6.
CLUE #4: Clue #3 may or may not have helped you. In any case, many kibbutzniks participated in the mystery activity, though unintentionally and unknowingly. An example can be found in the post of Oct. 13.
CLUE #5: The objective of the mystery activity can be found, seemingly jokingly, in the post of Sept. 28.

Denoument to follow...

"One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"

Well, crazy movie, and not just a movie about crazy people. Firstly, it won Academy Awards in five major areas (Best Picture, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Director, Best Actor (Nicholson), Best Actress (Fletcher)) in 1975. It also has some great characters: McMurphy, Nurse Ratched, Cheswick, Martini, Harding, and Billy, to name a few. But the issues it brought up, both literal and metaphorical: asylums and mental institutions, imprisonment and fear, sanity and perception, freedom, mainstream and the others, and the power of choice. Very powerful, but not recommended for people under a certain age. Also not helpful if Adam Weiler says "I'll be there in a few years!" in the middle of an asylum scene. The questions it poses are real and tangible, particularly perhaps the essence of the movie: is R.P. McMurphy really crazy?

Oh yeah, quotable quotes:

McMurphy: [pretending to watch the World Series on TV] Koufax... Koufax kicks. He delivers. It's up the middle! It's a base hit! Richardson is rounding first. He's going for second. The ball's into deep right center. Davis cuts the ball off! Here comes the throw. He throws it to second! He slides! He's in there! He's safe! It's a double.! Richardson's on second base!
[McMurphy gets up as the other patients come to see what he's doing] Koufax is in big trouble! Big trouble, baby! All right. Tresh is the next batter. Tresh looks in. Koufax... Koufax gets a sign from Roseboro. He kicks once. He pumps. He fires. It's a strike! Koufax's curve ball is snapping off like a firecracker! All right, here he comes with the next pitch. Tresh swings. It's a long fly ball to deep left center! [patients cheer] It's going! It's gone! Let's hear it! One way!

Chief Bromden: Mac... they said you escaped. I knew you wouldn't leave without me. I was waiting for you. Now we can make it, Mac; I feel big as a mountain.
[he suddenly sees the lobotomy scars] Oh, no... [embracing McMurphy] I'm not goin' without you, Mac. I wouldn't leave you this way. ... You're coming with me. [laying him down] Let's go.

McMurphy: The Chief voted. Now will you please turn on the television set?
Nurse Ratched: [she opens the glass window] Mr. McMurphy. The meeting was adjourned and the vote was closed.
McMurphy: But the vote was 10 to 8. The Chief, he's got his hand up! Look!
Nurse Ratched: No, Mr. McMurphy. When the meeting was adjourned, the vote was 9 to 9.
McMurphy: [exasperated] Aw come on, you're not gonna say that now. You're not gonna say that now. You're gonna pull that now when the vote... the Chief just voted - it was 10 to 9. Now I want that television set turned on, right now!
[Nurse Ratched closes the glass window]

Also, tonight is the birthday of one of my oldest friends, Max "Mordechai" Rabin, who is also in Israel and who is also keeping a blog at this address. Let us wish him a happy birthday, shall we?

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to Max,
Happy birthday to you!

The Israelis are coming! The Israelis are coming!

A cuke if by land and two if by sea / and I on the Gilboan Mountain shall be. / Waiting to fight and spread the alarm / to every privatized kibbutz and farm.

-Chaim Wordsworth Longfellow, on the Israelis coming

More Israelis here. Keep guessing...

Omer Zilber (left)
a. Has had long hair since his Bar Mitzvah
b. His sister is training to pilot unmanned aircraft (the position in Hebrew is katzin)
c. Plays guitar

Ayal Tzadik
a. Is of Iraqi descent
b. Has two fish, Yakov and Esav
c. Was born in Ramat Gan

Yitzchak Brody
a. Brings his own cereal to breakfast
b. Usually doesn't wear shoes
c. Is an expert at the game "Set"



Rafael Shenkolavsky
a. Is a left-handed artist
b. Is nicknamed "Chico" for his similarities to comedian Chico Marx
c. Once visited Argentina

Yair Agmon (right)

a. Wants to be a high-school teacher

b. Once served as a ballboy for a Beitar Jerusalem basketball game

c. Was attacked by geese at the age of three

Imri Cohen

a. His father is a physics professor at Hebrew University

b. Is actually a cohen (priest)

c. Lives in the forest outside Jerusalem

BONUS

Give an example of the following "Seinfeld" things: (1) a character who is not Jerry, Elaine, Kramer, or George (give specific names when possible); (2) a famous quote; (3) a special item; (4) the central issue of one of Jerry's many relationships with women/why the relationship ultimately failed; (5) someone famous who guest-starred in one episode

Example: Newman; "No soup for you!"; the puffy shirt; the woman with the annoying laugh; Courtney Cox

NOTES: Answers cannot overlap (ie: no doing Soup Nazi and "No soup for you!"). Pick three of the five. No extra bonus points for doing more. If you do more, I may even consider deducting points for your failure to read the directions...

Personal Ad

SWJM looking for SWJM with knowledge of TPW and GRT for weekday afternoon intellectual escapades. I have $$$ (not shekels), a mind for learning, and a great sense of humor. Boger a plus. You must have teaching abilities, be available 415-6:15 (bkiyut time) and have a sense if humor (or at least understand mine). Call me-- 057-730-5262. :)

SWJM- Single White Jewish Male; TPW- Torah, Prophets, and Writing; GRT- Gmara, Rashi and Tosfot; MUA- Made Up Acronym.

At least, that's what my personal ad would read if there was someone willing to publish it.

***

For the second time in two months, I am chevruta-less, again. This one with Asaf lasted all of, oh, two days. He said "I'd rather learn alone" which I guess is his way of saying "It's not you, it's me." So I'm back on the market, I guess.

Other interesting things of the day include the quote "The woman's jugs" being taken completely out of context (see II Kings 4:1-12), taking Naxyn for my aching back, and slowly but surely seeing my blog become a matter of importance at the yeshiva, even among the Israelis, who keep asking me when their pictures will be up. To them I respond, "all in good time, my pretties, all in good time." I also watched "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" last night, but I am holding off on reviewing it until I discuss this deep film with some friends. And... I think that's it. For now.

Friday's Early Tiyul

I've noticed how early mornings seem to be the best time to do things, as evidenced by my reactions to davenning, my day at the Schmeedas, and getting up early biweekly for out shabbats. This tiyul, however, involved no early wakeup whatsoever; I stayed up the whole night.

We left the yeshiva at 3:00 a.m., and arrived at the tiyul site around 4:15. The hour-plus trip seemed to pass in as much time it probably takes you to read this sentence. We began hiking up Mt. Arbell, chaperoned by Zevik, and met on the way by Rabbis Meir and Yitzchak. Now, Thursday I wrote about a place called Arbell, but I did not know it was a mountain. It was quite a climb, especially for an exhausted person such as myself. It felt like a 90-degree slope, but I may be underexaggerating. It was a tiring walk, but ultimately rewarding. The coolest part was climbing using ladder-like grips, seeing the sleeping valley stretched out before us in the fading darkness. When we reached the top, we sang some songs as we waited for dawn, when we could pray Shacharit. It was quite a prayer service, seeing the Sea of Galilee and the surrounding villages become illuminated as the seconds ticked by. Also, it was my first Shacharit with the group that week, so that was a plus. We got back to the yeshiva around 8:30, and hit the hay thereafter.

Shabbat was pretty average, I guess. I was invited back to my kibbutz family's for Seudah Shlishit, which was interesting because THERE WAS NO FOOD! At what is literally "the third FEAST." Whatever. It was restful, with reading, Cholent Bowl III, spiritual Kabbalat Shabbat. And as a kicker, the Clippers beat the Lakers to improve to 7-2.

And, for your viewing pleasures, some pictures. Enjoy, and shavua tov.

More Israelis...

That's Israeli Intoductions, Part Two

Yishai Ratik (left)
a. Played goalie for his high school soccer team
b. Wants to visit South America after his army service
c. His favorite bands are Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin

Ronen Aminoff
a. Invented the phrase (translated) "The carrot says hello to the sun"
b. Broke his leg on a cruise right before coming to yeshiva
c. Has a twin sister, Miriam


Yochai Greenfeld (left)
a. Made the finals of the Israeli "American Idol"
b. He doesn't own a television
c. Lives in Ramot with his four siblings

Asaf Barak
a. Introduced himself to me as Chabakuk
b. His favorite high school subject was history
c. Enjoys classical music

Yudah Lapia (foreground)
a. Is a terrible cook
b. Was born and has lived his whole life in Jerusalem
c. Attends Ma'aleh Gilboa because it is "the most normal Modern Orthodox yeshiva in Israel"

Yisrael Nir
a. Is an avid parachuter
b. Enjoys tiyuling/biking around Israel
c. Is one of my Israeli suitemates

BONUS
Three parts: (1) Name a mythological creature from JK Rowling's "Harry Potter" series; (2) Name a an actual mythological creature that does NOT appear in the series; (3) Name a magical creature invented by Rowling for the series.
Example: unicorn, hydra, veela
NOTE: You cannot copy answers, either from the example or other responses.

It's almost Shabbat, so I'll be off. I'll write about this morning's tiyul, and post some pictures, tomorrow night, hopefully.

Shabbat Shalom.

"Almost Famous"

Greetings, oh faithful readers! I know some of you are expecting to find another quiz about Israelis, but since I do not have my handy-dandy list on me, I do not want to run the risk of writing an incorrect fact, or worse, incorrectly identifying someone. So later on the quizzes.

Tonight being Thursday, the Americans just concluded a showing of "Almost Famous," a Cameron Crowe picture with Billy Crudup, Kate Hudson, Patrick Fugit, and Frances McDormand. Jimmy Fallon also made an appearance and, as he usually does, managed to detract from a relatively good piece of film. If you wanted a summary of the movie here, you can find yourself an online summary or, better yet, rent the movie. For me, "Almost Famous" represented the following values: journalism and truth, living in reality and illusion, requited and unrequited love, identity, the meaning and reason of art, loving music, finding your own way, going with the flow, true friendship, and being yourself. And, in what I'm sure will become a movie tradition, a few of my favorite quotes from the movie:

William: Do you have to be depressed to write a sad song? Do you have to be in love to write a love song? Is a song better when it really happened to you? Like "Love Thing," where did you write that and who was it about?
Russell: When did you get so professional?

Russel: And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were... I'm on drugs! [crowd cheers]
William: Russell! I think we should work on those last words!
Russell: I got it, I got it. Last words - I dig music. [a few claps]
Russell: I'm on drugs!

Penny Lane: I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just got to the record store and visit your friends.

By the way, there is a tiyul tomorrow, or make that, tonight, starting at 3:00 a.m. Yes, 3:00 a.m. So that's why I am not going to sleep now, but I'll hit the hay when we get back Friday morning, I mean, this morning around 7:30. We're going to this place called Arbell, and I'm told it should be amazing. What I guess what I'm trying to say is if I don't write before Shabbat, you'll know where I was.

Last thing:
Back to back birthdays! Yesterday was my cousin Michael; today it is my Aunt Janet! Huzzah! Where would we be without Janet? The brunches, the cruises, the discussions with a professor of literature... yes, I think these are just some of the many reasons we should all sing in musical harmony:

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to Janet,
Happy birthday to you!

Initiating Israeli Introductions

Today, November 16th, is noteworthy for two reasons. The first is:
We have wireless internet! And since I have wireless internet in my room, and since my computer works, I am currently writing this entry from my bed!
I will now begin to publish brief descriptions of the Israelis here. Since there are so many of them, I do not think I can manage to go into as much depth as I did with the Americans (also, to my regret, I cannot say that I know all the Israelis well enough to write something). So I decided to do something called "Two Truths and a Lie." This is a popular icebreaker in which a person introduces himself by saying two things that are true about him, and one falsehood. Everyone tries to guess, and this somehow serves as an icebreaker. For example:

George Washington
a. Was the first US president
b. Stayed at Valley Forge
c. Advised to be wary of "foreign entanglements"

Give up? Well, actually they are all; George never could tell a lie. Okay, bad example. But how about Honest Abe Lincoln... er, bad example. How about Tricky Dick Nixon? Um... maybe we should stay away from politics. How about we get straight to the Israelis? I'll post the answers on a later post. NOTE: Israelis not posted in any order.

Eitan Moriah
a. His favorite movies are "Braveheart" and "Gladiator"
b. His birthday falls on Rosh Hodesh Nissan
c. He is deadly allergic to bees


Yoni Schwartz
a. Puts many many noodles and croutons in his Shabbat chicken soup
b. His middle name is Kalman
c. Was born in Poughkeepsie, NY

Tzuri Blank
a. His real name is Tzurishadai
b. Has never been to the United States
c. Gave me the nickname "DJ Yoni Banana"

Roi Ravitzky
a. Never wears sandals
b. Plays guitar
c. Talks animatedly and waves his hands

Avraham Kellner
a. Usually rides his bicycle to the Beit Midrash
b. Wears a small green kippah
c. Attends Rav Yossi's usual gmara b'iyun shiur

You can submit your answers in the form of a comment. You must get all five right to merit the five points. If you get the bonus, you receive an extra five points, but you must first get the regular questions!

BONUS
What is the LGLRD22850SW, and who just purchased one?

Finally, I said earlier that "today is noteworth for two reasons." The first was wireless interent. But the second is that my cousin Michael is celebrating his 14th birthday. Huzzah! So let us join hands in birthday prayer, and sing together:

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to Michael
Happy birthday to you!

Internet, Bisquits, Older Guys, and Cabbage

I apologize for not sharing the details of yesterday's adventures, but when the climax of yesterday's "adventures" is the appearance of cabbage at dinnertime, then you know that the day was none too memorable. Anyway, on to the day's most exciting news:

[<--------------------->]
This is the distance that Benjamin Epstein created with his thumb and forefinger, indicating the exact measurement, in centimeters, of how close we are to getting wireless internet in our rooms. This is very very exciting, or potentially exciting, since this distance could translate into hours, days, weeks, or millenia by yeshiva time estimates. Nevertheless, having wireless internet, now that I have my fixed laptop, could be very very good.

It has come to my attention that, when describing the comestible circumstances at the yeshiva, I forgot to mention a very important snack oft consumed whilst learning. So, I present to you:
Bisquits! and Tea!
(Or, if you wish to pronounce it the Israeli way:)
Bisqvits! and Teh!
At least my conscience can now be clear.

(Another note before moving on to new faces: I just received the first two editions of The Boiling Point, and I am currently in the midst of reading it. Though I must say that it seems that they miss my poised leadership, witty cartoons, proofreading tenacity, dedication to excellence, and constant humility, they seem to be getting on rather nicely. Keep up the good work.)

And now, on to new faces.
Although I feel I have introduced sufficiently the Americans and most of the rabbis, I have not done justice to the Israelis who make up most of the yeshiva's population. There are 56 Israelis here who are my age (we are שילוב י'ג, or the 13th Shiluv/age group at the yeshiva) plus a colel, plus members of previous shiluvim. I have decided to introduce the Israelis in the coming day, accompanied with a picture, although the descriptions will be shorter due to the facts that (a) I don't know all of them so well, and (b) there are so many of them. But today, I am going to start with some of the older guys.

The Israeli word for older guys (who are not in the colel) is בוגר, or bogger, plural בוגרים, or bogrim (note: it is often fun to call them "boogers" when they are not listening). As explained above, the older guys are sometimes colel, but for the most part they are just bogrim, older members like myself who are in yeshiva in accordance with the whole yeshiva-shiluv idea, which is that these shiluv Israelis will spend a total of five years either in the army or yeshiva (1 in yeshiva, then 1.5 army, then 1 yeshiva, then 1.5 army). There are a good number of older guys, but I shall merely present those with whom I have made contact. I did not give out a questionaire, so this is my take on them:

Eitan Rubinstein
Eitan is a member of the Harvard Class of 2004, and is studying at Ma'aleh Gilboa for the year. We used to be chevrutas during the bkiyut gmara session in the afternoon (as I may have mentioned previously), but, because he needed to study a different tract of gmara, we are now learning three hours a week after Ma'ariv (as opposed to the eight hours a week). His favorite words are "super" and "beautiful," and he is the only person I know who knows, or cares, what an interrobang is [by the way, it is a question mark followed by an exclamation point (?!)]. He shares a table in the Beit Midrash, as well as his room, with Steven.

Steven Exler
Steven is from Maryland, and attended Brandeis University before coming to Ma'aleh Gilboa. He also served as a cantor to an American synagogue over the High Holidays, and the congregation even paid to have him flown there. Steven is also studying for the rabbinate at Yeshivat Chovevei Torah. Steven has a sense of humor, and he enjoys telling jokes with Jewish themes. We are currently learning the laws of פרו ורבו (reproduction) by investigating a variety of sources, ranging from gmara to Shulchan Aruch to modern responsa.

Shachar Langbeheim (left) and Asaf
For those of you Shalhevet folk out there, Shachar may look familiar. That is because he is the younger brother of Elon, Shalhevet science teacher! Take another look. And another, if you're not sure. Or even ask Elon if he has a brother. Elon was from the first year of students here, and Shachar from the tenth. Shachar is the chevruta of Ezra Fishman, and is currently the computer guy in charge of the wireless internet (see above).

I don't know Asaf's last name, partially because I only met him today. Rav Yossi recently notified me that he will be my new bkiyut chevruta, and we started today, learning tractate Shabbat. The only other thing I can say right now is that he looks a bit like a Weasley. Even though Rav Yossi claims that Asaf is a bogger, Shachar has just informed me that he is actually not an older guy, but just a member of Shiluv 13 who came late.

That's the colel guys for now; soon, I hope to start publishing some of the Israelis.

Bathroom Mysteries

Did you ever stop to wonder about the many mysteries that inhabit the seemingly sterile space we call the bathroom? I know I do. There are many questions that beg attention. For example:

• Pink toilet paper. Now, what I want to know is, who spends time making pink toilet paper? What's wrong with white? And if it has to be colored, why pink?
• Loofas. Who made up the word "loofa"? It's such a funny word. Loofa. Loofa. Loofa. Say it aloud a few times. Loofa. Loofa. Is it a dyslexic man who is aloof in the shower? Loofa. Loofa. Sounds like a Roald Dahl word. Loofa.
• How are there so many types of toilet flushers? In America, there is just a lever, usually on the right side of the toilet. Here, you don't know what to expect: pull this, push that, one lever, two levers,-- it's like that game "Bop It!" with flushers. Hmm. Maybe I'll call it "Flush it!"
• Shampoo bottles. This is a big one. First of all, "Questions? Comments? Call this number"... who has questions, or comments, about the shampoo? This always gets me. Maybe the question is about the ingredients. Ever read the back of a shampoo bottle? They sound like deadly toxins from a science experiment, definitely things you don't want to get accidentally in your eyes. Finally, shampoo directions? Who needs directions on a shampoo bottle? Let me simplify it: put the shampoo in your wet hair, lather, and rinse. There, it doesn't need a full paragraph. Although, if you are the type of person who needs directions, maybe the "Questions? Comments?" number is for you.
• Bathroom scented things. Now, most bathrooms have flower scents, or some kind of citrus fruit. Now, I'm the kind of guy who doesn't really care about bathroom scents, but I wondered if an appropriate scent was... French Vanilla. Now, the fruits I can kinda understand, but French Vanilla-- is it a coffeehouse or a bathroom? Because the Beit Midrash toilet is right next to the Pinat Cafe (lit. "Coffee Corner"), so I suspect there may have been a mixup.
• Why is my shower curtain too short? Just out of curiosity, shouldn't it reach, at least, the floor?
• Squeegees. My bathroom at home was equipped with many devices, but a squeegee definitely wasn't one of them. But in Israel, it's part and parcel for everywhere that a shower might be. This alone isn't really a mystery, as (due to the fact that the shower floor is one with the rest of the bathroom) water gets everywhere during a shower. No, my question, rather, is this: where is the squeegee for our room? It was clearly marked "squeegee for room 8," yet it seems to have disappeared. Who took it? What was his motive? Did he have an accomplice?
• How is it that most deoderants make a smell?

Yes, these are the things I think about.

The Sabbath Queen and The Princess Bride

The Sabbath came and went in Efrat, where I am spending the weekend with the Schwartz family, who moved to Israel almost thirteen years ago. Other than the other Yoni, who is at yeshiva with me, I met his parents, Andrew and Robin, and his siblings Michael, 20; Asher, 16; Ari, 14; and Sarah, 12. And they all speak English! Not that that sentence deserves a question mark, but it had the feel of an American shabbat, from soup to nuts (or in this case, cookies). That night we played Scrabble and I finished my David Sedaris book, "Naked." If you have not read any of his books and you enjoy sarcastic/self-depricating humor, you are required by law to read it very very soon. As soon as I find the law.

For shabbat, we went to shul, ate a large lunch (with cholent!), played chess, and relaxed, all good ingredients to a good shabbat. Tonight we decided to bypass the standard weekend activity of "going to town" (Jerusalem) in favor of doing all the exciting stuff in Efrat. And in case you didn't get the sarcasm, there is nothing to do in Efrat, except for making plans to do stuff by leaving Efrat. So we made popcorn as Yoni (not me), Yoni(not me) 's girlfriend Ahuva, and Yoni (me) watched "The Princess Bride." Even though I have seen the movie, it was fun to watch. And as I do with all movies I have watched, I present quotable quotes:

Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Vizzini: Inconceivable!

Humperdink: There was a great battle. It covered the whole terrain. Both masters. The loser walked off alone, but the winner followed these footprints toward Guilder.
Count Rugen: Shall we track them both?
Humperdink: The loser is nothing; only the princess matters.
Count Rugen: Do you think it could be a trap?
Humperdink: I think everything could be a trap, which is why I'm still alive.

Note: the third one was not on imdb.com, so it is more or less from memory. I apologize if it is wrong, but if you have the correct quote, post it as a comment, or send it to me in an email.

Yoni I and Yoni II: Who is the REAL Yoni?

Forgive me for not writing again last night, but I was busy. We held a surprise birthday party for Omer, and it included cake, sparklers, and everyone popping the carefully-taped balloons. And even though I yet again promised myself that I'd go to sleep early, for the sixth consecutive night I got into bed after 2 p.m. And considering that I had to be up at 5:25 to attend the kibbutz shacharit before the van left at 7:00, it was probably not the wisest of my ideas. Suffice it to say that I slept the entire bus ride, maybe one of my best naps in Israel.

We arrived at the Jerusalem Bus Station at about 9:00, and since I had some time to kill, I hung out with Yehuda, Micah, and Jammin' at the food court. We played two games of Yaniv, ate a pastry breakfast, and saw David Zvi and Ezra waiting for a bus. I may have also seen Shira Wolkenfeld, the twin sister of Ezra who I think is in Israel. I didn't say hello, because I wasn't sure it was her. I also have not spoken with her since, oh, 1995. But I did stop and say hello to two members of the Shalhevet Class of 2005: Micha Saiger and Eliya Shachar, who I saw at the food court. Micha is currently at Bar Ilan, and Eliya at Hebrew University. Each is having an experience quite unlike mine. We caught up a bit, then I rejoined my friends at the station's Tower Records.

From there, I took a taxi to Katamon to pick up my (finally!) fixed laptop, then traveled to Efrat, where I am currently spending Shabbat. The taxi ride, though, wasn't without drama. The driver told me his life story: how he lived in Jerusalem his whole life, and became religious only last year; how he missed his first "real" High Holidays since he was serving in the Army Reserves (Miluyim), and how he was robbed at a gas station of all his money after taking a Chassidic Jew whose car had broken down. He told me how he had no money for Shabbat, and that his secular friends wouldn't lend him any money. His wife and four children were in tears, and his father, not religious, wasn't talking to him after he, the driver, became religious. He concluded his tale asking me for money, claiming that we were "like brothers." I was torn. On one hand, I wanted to believe him and help. On the other hand, I suspected that he might be a scammer, making up a story to get some cash. I am still unable to tell the difference, knowing that both exist in Israel, as in any country. In the end, I decided to give him some of the money I had been given by family to give for צדקה/charity.

I arrived in Efrat, where I am spending the weekend with Yoni Schwartz (see thoughtful picture, look familiar?), an Israeli who is more American than any Israeli on the program. He is a member of the junior Israeli national teams of both basketball and baseball(!). He also is a member of a yeshiva-league football team. Not soccer, football. Football!

Yoni lives in Dekel Aleph (a neighborhood in Efrat) on a street I am nicknaming "the embassy" for all the Americans who live here. We went to his flag football team practice, where I got to run around and play cornerback. And now, it's almost time for Shabbat. Enjoy.

Volunteers Facillitating Disabled

Yesterday was Wednesday, which means it was once again time for community service. It was sdkjf- Oops, I made a typo as I jumped when my phone emitted a high pitched Ring!

To recap my day yesterday, I once again volunteered, busing to receive a ride to Kibbutz Gesher; mine was the last of five stops we made. The community service still frustrates me but, points out superviser Osnat, these things take time. I had to write for my kid Ohr Bezeq numbers in many different colors, a task followed by reading him two books. I should also comment that I learned Ohr's sign motion for "house." We played with trains, drew animals, and drank Coca Cola. I think that the community service will pay off in the end, but, my word, working with Ohr is still very very hard. Perhaps this "volunteering," even if it was actually forced, will yield great dividedns. In all, I don't think Israel is just about the snowy caps of Mt. Herzog, or the holiness of Jerusalem, or

Ring! Another text message. Gotta run, so a quick summary of yesterday's other fun stuff: jammed my finger playing basketball at 11:00 p.m., then proceeded to play a great game. Still no tomatoes at dinner. Reading Proverbs, learning how to lain Megillat Esther, gmara classes with Rav Yitzchak. I'll (hopefully) write again tonight, so forgive this for being a bit short. Later.

Views and News

Apart from feeling sick this morning and subsequently getting to the Beit Midrash very late, today was a very ordinary day: we learned gmara (although we are still in the eighth chapter of Sanhedrin, we are now dealing with the issues regarding burglars, and when one is allowed to kill them); we had french fries for lunch, in my opinion to (partially) make up for the bad dinners; and I took some pictures of the view with David Zvi (below). I think they are great pictures, or rather, servicable pictures of a great view. The sixth picture, my very first set playing the game Set, is included, partially to make the arrangement of pictures even, and partially for no reason at all, as I took the picture as a joke to celebrate mockingly my first set. I hope you can tell what they are pictures of, but if not, you'll have to come up here to see. It is really much more majestic in person.

This evening was Israeli Aharon's birthday. To celebrate his turning nineteen, significant in Israel because you are now a full year older than eighteen, we threw him a surprise party on top of the water tower I had known existed. The thought of a water tower was exciting, up to the point when we ascended atop the structure to discover it was as sturdy as a house of cards. Many people spent the entire "party" at the edges, hugging the rails for dear life , ready to push everyone out of the way to get to the stairs at a moment's notice. At one point, feeling the tower sway to the icy wind and the celebrating students, I thought I saw my life flash before my eyes, though that turned out to be someone merely photographing the birthday boy. Mazal tov.

Last thought: if anyone knows who a certain Tamara Winegust is, please let me know. As David Zvi was passing this link along to some of his Canadian friends, one of them, Tamara, apparently recognized me. This is utterly perplexing, as I have no idea who she is. She is from Toronto, and never did Genesis, Model UN, March of the Living, Tel Yehuda camp, or any other inter-school or -national activity where I might have met someone from Toronto. So if you have a clue, write me a comment. Better yet, if Tamara is reading this, please explain to me how you know who I am.

That's all. Enjoy the photos.

The Midnight News on KYMG, Ma'aleh Gilboa's one and only television station

With John Denmark, lead anchor, formerly of KSHS, the Boiling Point cartoon newsteam.
Featuring special correspondent Yoni Bain in the field.

Tonight's lead story: Rosh Yeshiva Rav Bigman just completed his weekly conversation/lecture with the Americans. The discussion covered topics ranging from Resurrection to multi-dimensionality to the meaning of life. At least, that's what I think it was about; it was quite confusing. I think I came away with two pieces of wisdom from tonight. The first is Rav Bigman's quote,"Time is a figment of our imagination," which I think makes sense; my days here at yeshiva are so long, and it seems fantastical that the days go by so quickly, and how I try to cram too much into a 24-hour span, usually resulting in a lack of sleep and/or making up for that lack of sleep by skipping the 6:45 davenning. The other thing I learned is that human beings, when understanding that they understand nothing, understand more. Try to understand that. So I guess, then, I understand more, by understanding seemingly very little, after tonight's lecture.

Tomorrow's forecast includes midmorning showers, beautiful views, and lunchroom lynchings. Dinner is getting worse and worse; not regarding the food itself, which remains as repetitive as ever. No, I am referring to other factors, like a lack of enough silverware, kitchen maintenance, and, more importantly, enough food to go around. By the time I arrived at dinner (late, due to a class that ran over), the eggs, tomatoes, cottage cheese, and cups were all gone. One night, when pasta wasn't served, the staff even forgot to put our pizzas in the sarcophagus-sized ovens, which in turned caused a long (pizza) bread-line that was, at best, Judaically mutinous. These mealtime shortcomings, combined with the fact that I am highly irritable after a long day of confusing and mind-racking Judaic learnings, may soon lead to Marina the lunchlady's head decapitated and stuffed full of the rotting cucumbers she tries to pass off as food. Perhaps I am just negative after a long day, and need sleep.

And on to sports: The Clippers are 3-0, while I relentlessly taunt my New York friends about how the Knicks are 0-3. The Patriots-Colts showdown tonight in Foxboro, Mass., is yet another American sporting game that I will miss watching; and ultimate frisbee will be called off at Ma'aleh Gilboa due to weather.

And finally: somewhere, a cute little forest animal is doing something so inanely stupid that it gets put at the end of every newscast, making it no longer original but cliche. This story features a chipmunk who waterskis while juggling sixteen acorns. This story is not relevant to anything at all Ma'aleh Gilboan, but, as I said earlier, is cliche.

Yes, I think I need some sleep, and bad.

"That's my story, and I'm sticking to it." Good night!

Photography at its very best!

Cholent Bowl III: PPD (laziness); no makeup date announced.

It is a most unusual experience, writing a blog entry with people looking over your shoulder. It is even more unusual that they are Israeli yeshiva students, yet another category of blog readers I had never anticipated. But the more the merrier, I always say. Or actually, never said. But you know what I mean.

The Sabbath came and went with a rollercoaster of emotions. Observe:

• Sweet victory, at winning a late-night game of Risk. I fended off, in order, White (Josh Tal), Yellow (Israeli Yitzchak Brody), Gray (Micah), Green (Micah's other friend Ilan), and finally Red (Micah's friend Yoni). Victory has never tasted better, unless served with a succulent ice-cream sundae.
• Disappointment, at not having my weekly cholent prepared by Jason. He will most definitely pay.
• Mirth, at reading my second David Sedaris book, "Naked." After reading "Me Talk Pretty One Day," I couldn't wait to read another, and this one is as good as the last. These books contain anecdotal and autobiographical stories of a gay Greek wickedly witty writer, so creative that they are listed under "American Humor" rather than biography.
  
• Anger, at the cafeteria neglecting to serve the (bad) cholent, soup nuts, noodles, and pudding. Combined with them forgetting to cook Wednesday's pizza, I predict a kitchen riot.
• Befuddlement, at listening to one of Rav Shmuel's lectures. But not all of it. I actually understand all the lectures now, up to a certain point, until some unidentifiable instant when I can no better understand the Hebrew shiur than if it was delivered in Klingon. I am still attempting to unravel the secret of this turning point.
• Contemplation, at playing bughouse with the Israelis. Bughouse is a variation on chess, involving two boards and four players. Some play to gain a different perspective to chess; I play because I am bad a regular chess. Nevertheless, I won all my bughouse games, while simultaneously providing commentary on the games' progression. Among my favorite lines was calling Ilan, who is good at developing his pieces, Kodak Caplan. If you don't find it funny, then I guess it was one of those "you had to have been there" moments. So it goes.

And now? Well, since my gmara chevruta Eitan has moved on to bigger and better gmaras here, I am left by myself during this all-important bkiyut time. I need to find something to do. And soon.

Garden State

The thing about Israeli Fridays is that they are more or less like American Sundays: no work/school, relaxing, and enjoying the weekend. The only noticable difference is that the day ends early with the start of Shabbat. But the part about no school is especially refreshing; it means I get to sleep in. Well, except for the part about four Israelis separately trying to wake me up for a tiyul I did not want to go on. And when I arose finally, it was windy and rainy. From the Beit Midrash, it looked as if Mt. Gilboa was enveloped by an opaque, swirling mist. If my new blanket is like sleeping in a cloud, this morning, for Mt. Gilboa, was like living in one.

Anyway, the reason I awoke so (relatively) late is that last night I stayed up late doing two things: finishing my James Patterson thriller "Black Friday," and watching the movie "Garden State." Initially, it seemed like a total chick flick. But once I got past the initial weird moments, it turned out to be a very worthwhile movie about love, life, growing up, and self-discovery. Written, directed, and starring Zach Braff, and co-starring Natalie Portman, Ian Holm, and Peter Saarsgard, it was a poignant and entertaining film. "Garden State"'s ending left a bit lacking, but contains one of the movie's more profound quotes:

Andrew: You remember that idea I had about working stuff out on my own and then finding you once I figured stuff out?
Sam: The ellipsis?
Andrew: Yes, the ellipsis. It’s dumb. It’s dumb. It’s an awful idea. I’m not gonna do it, okay? ‘Cause like you said, this is it. This is life.

Shabbat Shalom.

Another View: Leor Hackel

Yes, this is still Yoni in Israel. However, I want to post a few outside opinions, of people I know in Israel, about their experiences in the Holy Land and at yeshivot. I have already given you a taste, via the personal paragraphs on the American bios; these are fuller, longer compositions.
DISCLAIMER: opinions expressed in "Another View" do not necessarily represent the opinions of Yoni Bain. Well, they might. But might not, too.
CAUTION: may contain almonds.

Another View
By Leor Hackel

An Introduction: My yeshiva is, in some respects, the opposite of Yoni's. Rather than being almost all-Israeli, mine is pretty much all-American; rather than being in the middle of nowhere, it's ten minutes outside Jerusalem; Yoni's yeshiva has no theme song, whereas my yeshiva does have a theme song. (Visit the YSMZ website, www.mevaseret.org/ysmz to hear it or watch the music video!).

Generally: The location of Mevaseret-Zion means that I'm not distracted all the time by having a huge city right outside my Yeshiva, but that when I want to get out, I can pretty easily. Which has let me a) buy things when I need them, b) view the aspect of yeshiva life Yoni may not see as often from up north: the huge American social scene in Jerusalem. Every Friday, Yaffo and Ben Yehuda are packed with American yeshiva/seminary boys and girls. It's impossible to walk around without running into people you know. Or, whoever you're with will see someone they know, and if they're girls, you have to wait around while they catch up even though they go to the same seminary, and if they're guys, they nod or shake hands and move on with their lives. (I have come to wonder if perhaps the seclusion of Ma'aleh Gilboa is a wise choice. I'm fairly sure that the Israeli-ness of it is a better choice– I'm in Israel, and almost never have to speak Hebrew when I'm in yeshiva!)

Religiously: Have I been getting more religious in yeshiva? Certainly, and here's why. For the first time, I feel like I have total freedom to ask questions I have, explore what I want/need to in Judaism, and find what different things mean. And when I say freedom, I don't mean to say that in the past (i.e. high school) I would not have been allowed to do the above; I simply didn't have the time or resources. This year, I have no pressure, no stress, and no responsibiliy-- no grades, homework, bills-- and I have all sorts of Rabbis and books available to me. I like the Mevaseret philosophy--they want us to be serious, but it's a relaxed yeshiva, where they want you to be self-motivated. I have found that the freedom I have here has made me want to learn more, as I come to understand things in Judaism I had never even questioned before. It's a great religious environment.
Yes, I did find I had a lot lacking in my background when I came here. But so did a lot of other people. It's challenging at first, but you learn quickly. And I have found that everything I've learned here has just...well, made a lot of sense to me. A really nice aspect of my yeshiva is the balance between intellectual/logical religious pursuits, and spiritual ones. It's a very spirited place.

Regarding Israel: I love being here. Both as a Jew and a partial Israeli, I feel very much at home in Israel. And most of my family lives here. (Sometimes things here make me laugh, like when cab drivers stop to ask someone on the street for directions, or when a bus driver ran off a bus at a stop to use an ATM.) Oh, and we have tiyulim to see different parts of the land. I love this country, feel like I belong here, and know that at some point, I want to live here.

Being away from home: For me, leaving home for the first time has been a lot easier here than I think it would be to go to college. As noted above, I have so much family here, and so many friends who are studying here for the year, and I feel sort of at home in Israel. I have largely felt disconnected from the U.S., to be honest. But yes, I do sometimes miss Los Angeles, as well as the people in it, and the stability of my life in high school, now that I'm out on my own and don't know where this year will take me.

To conclude: I think that coming here was one of the best choices I've made in my life, both for the present and the future. For now, I'm having a great time as I learn things I want to learn before I start college. And for the future-- this year is giving me a foundation I think I will need to hold onto religion in college. Students who are unsure of whether or not they should come to Israel next year: the answer is yes. Also, I'm getting married next month.

That's all for now... please feel free to ask any questions if you have them, or email me at lhackel@ysmz.org.il. Los Angeles people, I hope all is going well with you. Drop me a line sometime.

Leor Hackel was born in Hawaii, then moved to Atlanta before settling in Los Angeles, where he attended Hillel Harkham Hebrew Academy, and graduated high school at Shalhevet High School. Hackel will attend Yale University following his time in Israel. He enjoys drama, cats, and moose-themed jokes.

Suspicious-looking document found...

Document found on a suspicious looking American, talking about a game of football, where players touch the ball with their hands…

שבוע התשעי
בעל הסיכויים לנצח סיכויים בעל הסיכויים להפסיד
נמרים 3 אצל עורבים
אצל חומים 3 טיטאנים
אצל יגוארים 13 אנשי-טקסס
אצל ראשים ½4 מתקיפים
אריות ½1 אצל פיראטים-סקאנדינאבים
פנתרים ½1 אצל שודדי-ים
מטענים 6 אצל מטוסים
דבים 3 אצל קדושים
עופי-ים 4 אצל ציפורים-אדומות
ענקים 10 אצל אנשי ארבעים-ותשע
בזים ½1 אצל דולפינים
אצל אורזים אין סיכויים! אנשי-פלדה
אצל אינדיאנים 2 נשרים
סייחים 3 אצל פטריוטים

פתוחים: בוקרים, ברונקוים, בופאלוים, אילים

Community Service

Note: it was actually called "volunteering," but since everyone is required to do it, I am instead calling it community service.

We began today community service, where we assist those in our surroundings. Almost all of the work is done with children, either in schools or at homes. My kid is a six-year old boy, Ohr Bezeq, from Gesher, a nearby kibbutz. He has a learning disability, has behavioral issues, and cannot speak; his father, who he never sees, is suicidal and is in a mental hospital, while his mother was described to me by the project coordinator as "a simple woman." A tough case.

Now, I have done community service before, and I have worked with kids before, and I have worked with kids with learning disabilities before. Ohr is far and away the hardest case I've ever dealt with. For our first "meeting," we played with trains, and I wrote the digits 1-9 with a crayon over and over and over. I tried reading him a book, but he kept yanking the book away and replacing it with another. We also played on a seesaw. All he wanted to do was eat candy and cause trouble. It is so difficult to relate to a kid like this. You want to talk to him, but all he can say is "ahh" and "uhh." Sometimes he'll smile at you, but that's about it. A sad and humbling experience.

Initially, I did not want to participate in community service. This may seem selfish, and initially, I did feel a bit selfish. Why should I help someone in another country, in another kibbutz, in another family, teaching a child in a language that is not my first and best? Even during the meeting, I kept looking at my watch, praying for it to end. But on the way back, I was humbled by what I did, and what I have. I was able, for a short while, to influence a kid, and a family, with a severe disability, a disability that will forever hamper his, and his family's, ability to live a normal life in this world. I was able to contribute, to participate in Tikun Olam, making the world a better place, in a very real way. I was able to take the abstract Torah that we learn on our mountaintop and put it to a very practical use.

Maybe more importantly, I appreciated, if not for a brief moment, what I have: health, mental facilites, a non-fractured family, and a relatively normal life. Dealing with a disability for an hour was difficult; I cannot imagine what it would be like to live permanently with one, either my own or my child's. This experience taught me tolerance, understanding, and a greater appreciation for what I have.

And now... I don't want to call it a prayer, though I do end in an "amen." It is more of a hope, a request, that we all come to see things in a new way, and be able to apply this to our lives. Then, actually, maybe it is a prayer. Call it what you want, here it is:

"May we all better appreciate God's gifts that he gave and continues to give to us, and may we have the understanding and compassion to deal with those who are less fortunate than us. May we all be healed physically, mentally, and spiritually, speedily in our days, amen."

Remember that rabbi thing?

Well, if you do, then you'll remember that there were some rabbis I never got around to introducing, due to either an inability to find a lookalike, or to the fact that I had more interesting things to discuss. But fear no more, members of this great blog, for I, Yoni the Wise, Present to you... more rabbis!

Rav Zevik
Age of son Michael: 1 year
Instrument played: guitar
Spiritual: yes

Rav Zevik is the mashgiach of the yeshiva, a position that I don't quite understand. He only teaches one class, Introduction to Chasidut. But he is a fan favorite here at the yeshiva. His energy radiates wherever he goes, and he is a great chazzan: he did shacharit and mussaf on days one and two, respectively, of Rosh HaShanah. He is also the coordinator of community service.

Rav Chezi Cohen
Area of expertise: Tanach
Teaches only on: Mondays
Boring: no

Rav Chezi teaches Tanach, three classes on Mondays: the book of Joshua, the book of Exodus, and Bkiyut Tanach (reading Tanach quickly, to the pace of, say, four chapters of Tanach a day). His classes are clear and easy to understand, and his knowledge of Tanach allows him to cross-reference sources with incredible speed and accuracy. He is also Sefardic, and probably eats rice on Pesach.

Rav Elisha Anchilovitz
From: New York
Twitches his mouth when speaking: all the time
Confusing: yes

Now, when I say confusing, keep in mind that these classes (Meta-Halacha) are in English. These classes, just for the Americans, are about the evolution of Halacha and decision-making in our times; at least, that's what I think they are about. The texts are confusing, the lectures mind-numbing, and the homework challenging. For instance, when doing the first homework (about pruzbul, or loans during the Jubilee year), my chevrutas and I were confused about how to read a text. When we asked the Rav, he responded with "Can you read Rashi?" We all said yes, expecting a revelation. He followed that with "Can you write Rashi?" We all said no, still waiting. He then walked off, leaving us to our confused thoughts.

Rav Meir
Okay, the only time I've ever talked to him was to ask him if I could take this picture. He teaches a gmara shiur (which I can't go to, since I am with Rav Yitzchak), and that's it. So I know nothing about him, other than that he is Swedish.

Other than that, happy Rosh Chodesh (Cheshvan as well as November).