Shabbat Shalom, and Shalom to Another Rabbi

"Lookalikes can be animated." That's not an actual quote, as you may have guessed, but this picture is the best I could find. I'm also running out of rabbi doppelgangers, but I just had to introduce you to:

Rav David Bigman
Nicknames: Rav Big, The Notorious B.I.G.M.A.N.
Wears his kippa: on the right side of his head
His rosh yeshiva in Detroit: Rav Box

Rav Bigman is the other co-Rosh yeshiva (you met Rav Shmuel "Dumbledore" earlier). Rav Bigman is a very philosophical man, with an expertise in seemingly every subject (or maybe just a few, since I've only talked to him a few times). Every Monday night, he gives a private shiur to the Americans, in English, about topics that interest and are relevant to us. We are currently discussing how Judaism views other religions, and other topics on the agenda include the Holocaust, shomer negiah, the power of speech, the dual nature of the universe, and the problem of eating 15 plums at once.
Rav Bigman does not actually wear a turban, or any hat, for that matter. He does wear glasses (not pictured) that change color in the sun (also not pictured), and gives a lot of his non-classroom lectures under a tree. Although his classes are very deep and challenging, an issue for me has been following his speeches. Whether in English or in Hebrew, Rav Bigman has a style of speaking that involves a change of speeds, a variety of topics, tangential discussions, and, when in Hebrew, throwing in English words that have been "Hebricized," such as "situatzia" or "dialogia." Still, like the rest of the yeshiva experience, I'm sure that Rav Bigman just needs some getting used to.

Also, I want to wish everyone a Shabbat Shalom, so I will use this following passage from an excellent movie:
Walter: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death...
The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even Jewish, man.
Walter: What are you talkin' about?
The Dude: Man, you're Polish Catholic...
Walter: What are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!
The Dude: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Walter: And you know this!
The Dude: Yeah, and five years ago you were divorced.
Walter: So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?
The Dude: It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her dog. Going to her synagogue. You're living in the past.
Walter: Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax... [shouting] You're right I'm living in the past!
- The Big Lebowski

The Daily Schedule (Part I)

People have been asking me, What is a day like at Ma'aleh Gilboa? That is a great question, almost as good as the question, How many ways can I prepare my daily cucumber? I can only answer one of the questions in the space provided (the answer of the other is rapidly approaching infinity).

6:20– my alarm goes off. If I get up, I proceed to the Beit Midrash. If not… well…
6:45– shacharit in the Beit Midrash (see picture at right). And, on top of being awake this early, I get to daven in a Sefardic minyan.
7:30ish– from the time when davenning ends to breakfast, we have Morning Seder, which is usually reserved for Halacha. I study with Rabin, who you met previously.
8:00– breakfast. I'm thinking of doing a menu entry separately, so for now, I will say cucumbers, tomatoes, bread, cheese, and hard boiled eggs. On second thought, maybe scratch that menu idea, that about covers it.
8:30– morning "shiur" (on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays) and "Va'adim" Mondays and Thursdays. I've heard they're interesting, because if (or more appropriately, when) I sleep in, I usually use this time to pray.
9:15– introductory shiur. During this time, I meet with my Rabbi, Rav Yitzchak, who tells us what we should try to accomplish in the upcoming B'Iyun seder.
9:30– B'Iyun Seder, where we prepare, with a chevruta, the gmara necessary to understand the B'Iyun shiur. I'm still trying to find the right chevruta for b'iyun time. It's kinda like J-Date, except that we already know each other's phone number. And, no girls.
11:45– B'Iyun Shiur. The rabbis lecture on what we just learned (although it's usually not a lecture, what with the Israelis yelling out their ideas. Americans, on the other hand, raise their hands and patiently wait, sometimes for the entire time).
12:50– lunch time and freetime. Lunch is the only good meal (or rather, the unique) meal of the day, with soup and chicken and vegetables, none of which are cucumbers. Freetime, for me, is a daily Sudoku, followed by a nap in the niceness of the air conditioner.

The Daily Schedule (Part II)

3:00– Mincha. Since I am usually enjoying my nap, I usually miss part of the prayer service. Still, it's better than missing all of shacharit.
3:15– Afternoon Shiur Slot #1. Different shiurs are given on different days, so I'll just call this ASS 1. Or maybe, Shiur Slot #1. Yeah, that works better. For example, on Thursdays, this is when I go to "Torah & Science Class" with Rabbi Yitzchak.
4:15– B'Kiyut Seder. I get to spend two head-banging hours with my Harvard chevruta, Eitan Rubenstein. In a later post, I'll tell you more about him.
6:15– Shiur Slot #2. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I have "Meta-Halacha," a class with Rabbi Elisha, who I also have yet to introduce.
7:15– Dinner. For a detailed menu, see breakfast, just add pasta. A picture of the dining room is at the right.
8:00– Ma'ariv. I am there for all of this service. God awards me two points. Swish!
8:15– Evening Seder. During this time, I often learn Tanach.
9:15– Shiur Slot #3. On Mondays, I attend B'Kiyut Tanach with Chezi. You have yet to meet him. Soon, I hope.
10:15– Shiur Slot #4. On Mondays, Rav Bigman, the other co-Rosh Yeshiva you have yet to meet, gives a lecture to all the chutznikim. More about Rav Bigman, and these unique shiurs, later.
11:30– I've showered, brushed my teeth, and talked to my mommy. I get into bed. My day is over.
12:45– Or not. The Israelis party on the "quad," playing music and speaking on one of their two sound levels: loud or louder. I fall asleep sometime later, and this sleep problem means that I continue getting up late.

I'll post a schedule for Shabbat later on, perhaps after my next "in" Shabbat.

Note: If some of the terms here are confusing, you'll find that this page might help.

Rav Mulder and Rebbitzin Scully Present...

...another entry for "The R Files."

Rabin
Wears: plaid shirts, a la Wengeler (but not as bright)
Chest hair: overflows out of the collar of his shirt
Gives off a weird aroma: Yes

No one knows Rabin's last name. (Or, if that is his last name, no one knows his first name. I prefer to think of his last name as Rabinitzky, so I could call him Rabbi Rabin Rabinitzky) Everyone just calls him Rabin, like the Jewish version of Madonna or Sting. He looks like an MidEastern Chico Marx, except without the humor (by the way, there is an older student who I think looks like Harpo. I am considering growing a mustache and buying cigars...) I learn Mishna Brura with him every morning, or every morning that I manage to get out of bed in time for davenning. Maybe I should just say I learn with him on occassion.
This week, he is giving tours of the Beit Midrash, and my turn (my last name starting with a Bet) was the first day, Monday. I guess the best thing I could say about the tour was that he didn't notice if someone left. We spent twenty minutes looking through what felt like every book on Bookshelf 1, and I left shortly thereafter ("There Yonatan, do you see this number 12 at the bottom of this page?" This, for about thirty different books in twenty minutes). I'm glad I did; the tour was about an hour and a half. You know, there was once a time when a tour of a single room took about ten minutes.
So, to review: Gimli, Dumbledore, Jon Lovitz, Chico. More celebrities later.

Of Perception and Prisms (Part I)

Note: though posted later, this is still Part I. The reason for this, I think, is that this site won't let me post an entry too long. So...
I want to make a very important clarification here. It may appear, from the nature of the previous entries, that I have been having a grand old time, of fun and learning and laughter. Well, that is only part of the story.
The yeshiva experience, especially mine here at Ma'aleh Gilboa in the middle of nowhere, is not as easy as it appeared to be. If anything, it may be harder than my whirlwind life at Shalhevet. The days are long, the studies are intense, and my yeshiva's additional layer of everything in Hebrew presents yet another obstacle to overcome. The breakfast and dinner menus are repetitive and identical, there is little free time to relax, the shiurim are fast-paced and challenging, and sleep is seemingly short and hard to get. The "promises" of the yeshiva brochure are half-truths, at best: the swimming pool is open once every other week, at best; there is no internet in the rooms; the air conditioner is beyond our control, and even then only works at certain times (of which, by the way, we are often unaware). Most of my L.A. friends are in the Jerusalem area, and the only way for me to stay in contact is if I make the phone call, if I initiate the conversation, if I show any desire of keeping the connection going.
Yet all this I could live with, for the most part. Yes, they are obstacles, but I never let these things get in my way. Yet there is another, greater, fundamental problem which concerns me even more, that the above issues, annoying on their own and disturbing as a group, compound to a very great degree. I call this issue "Perception and the Prism."
"Perception and the Prism" begs the question, What is Judaism? Is it what your life should be? Or is it a means, a way, of living your life? A subtle difference, to be sure, but this difference is what has made this yeshiva experience of the first three weeks a bitter pill to swallow.
(continued below)

Of Perception and Prisms (Part II)

For the first eighteen years of my life, religion served as a prism, a mechanism through which to view of daily life. I could be Jewish, and still partake in the everyday American life. In other words, the two were not mutually exclusive. I kept Shabbat, and also played basketball. I ate kosher foods, and also acted in plays. I wore tfillin, and also watched TV. For my childhood, religion served as a way to enhance the everyday life that is the American world.
But at yeshiva, things have been different. From 6:30 to 22:30 (that’s 10:30 p.m.), I’m in one of three places: in the Bet Midrash learning, in the dining room eating, or in my room trying to make up some lost sleep. Here, I feel that the focus of life has been shifted from looking through the prism to the prism itself. At least in high school I had something to balance with my Judaic studies, be it other academics such as math and science, or other activities such as drama and newspaper. Here, it’s learning all day.
This is not to say that the classes are not inherently valuable. I honestly think they are. But learning all day is difficult, and not just because of the language barrier, which is (very very very slowly) starting to disappear. I continue to ask myself: Am I learning for a purpose, or am I learning to learn?
(There are responses/clichés that I always consider, only sometimes successfully, such as “this is a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity” “it just takes some getting used to” or “you’re learning information and skills that you will use for the rest of your life.” Whenver I consider these, by the way, it’s always the voices of my parents in my head. But I think the two most important comforts I take are “if it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth it” and the related “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” Although I wouldn’t be surprised if I die of a cucumber overdose.)
Even though Rav Yossi and everyone else predicted that the first few weeks/months would be difficult, it is still maddening and frustrating at times. The problems I mentioned previously, such as language and social differences, my gmara inexperience, and long hours, manage to compound the issue of “Perception and the Prism.” Am I learning to learn, or learning to live? Hopefully, I can learn to learn to live. Or, in other words, make the most of my time in solitary confinement, learning on top of the mountain, in Hebrew, in the middle of nowhere, day and night. Let’s hope this works out for the best.

Now playing on a DVD-laptop near you...

I saw "The Big Lebowski." What a movie! (I think; it's a Coen brothers movie, so, like Fargo, it takes a while to appreciate). While Walter and the Dude (or El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing) were excellent, the show stealer was Donny, especially his "burial." More on this movie later, including memorable quotes, but for now, I have to go to lunch, so I'll leave you with a quote:

Walter: I told those [guys] down at the league office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!
Donny: What's Shabbos?
Walter: Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure DON'T ROLL! SHOMER SHABBOS!

Shabbat, and more rabbis

Hi all,
Had another restful Shabbat back at the kibbutz. Slept, read parts of Malcolm Gladwell's "The Tipping Point" (the same author who wrote "Blink"), ate an excellent cholent (I am one of the founding four members of the Cholent Club). Oh yeah, and did stuff like pray and sing and listen to dvar torahs. That sort of fun thing. Learned an excellent card game called "Yaniv" or "Challenge." My Friday night oneg was spent learning Hebrew slang such as "Fanan" (very fun) or "Al-Hapanim" (not good) or "Ima Shelcha" (the always-classic 'your mom'). You know, that old chestnut.

Also, for the rabbi files:

Rabbi Yossi Slotnik
Born in: South Africa
Lives on: the kibbutz
Hair/sideburns: brown/white

Rabbi Yossi is the rabbi who picked us up in Jerusalem that first night, and he is our American liaison. Whenever an American has a problem, we go to him. He looks like Jon Lovitz, just a little larger, with glasses and white sideburns (you can't make that up). Rabbi Yossi is also the guy to go to if: (a) you want to talk to a staff person in English; (b) you want to eat real food at his house, instead of cucumbers etc.; (c) you need help understanding a certain piece of gmara and he happens to be available (note: part "c" applies to all rabbis, but just doing an "a" and a "b" would have looked stupid). Additionally, it's getting harder to find a corresponding celebrity to match every teacher, but I'm working on it. More later.

More Rabbis!

Well, here comes another rabbi.

Rabbi Yitzchak Ben-Pazi
Teaches: my gmara b'iyun shiur, Torah & Science
Eye Color: Greenish-gray
His Hebrew is: very easy to understand, especially for an American.

Rabbi Yitzchak is among my favorite teachers here at Ma'aleh Gilboa. His lectures are always clear and easy to understand, and he has a degree in physics, which adds tremendously to his ability to teach the Torah & Science class, which attempts to reconcile Torah and Science in the areas of (a) the age of the world (b) the creation of the world, and (c) the forces that govern the world. He is also is easy to talk to about anything, be it academic, spiritual, or personal. In his own words (translated, of course) he is "always available." He has a really high laugh, which clashes with his gravelly voice. He also organized the Gaza Gruntwork of yesterday (see previous entry). Well, back to work...

Gaza Gruntwork

Greetings,
Yesterday, instead of the usual grind of gmara, sitting, and cucumbers, Yeshivat Ma'aleh Gilboa went to a settlement called Mivtachim, a place where people who were expelled from Gaza are restarting their lives. As you may know, there was a lot of agriculture in Gaza, so yesterday, we helped set up their greenhouses (or in Hebrew, literally "hot houses") as they were in Gaza.
We left the yeshiva at 3 a.m., and davenned there at 6 a.m. After a breakfast of bread and cucumbers (okay, so that part of the grind is still there), we headed to the hot houses. And hot they were; I sweated so much that I could have watered the plants without a hose. My day was broken up into two parts: 8:30-12:30, which was putting tubes into hoses, a process that left my thumbs sore and my body hot and tired (I also used my trusty rusty nail; see right) ; and 1:15-5:00, when I put potted plants onto the ground and stuck irrigation tubes in them. Lunch was between 12:30 and 1:15, and consisted of turkey sandwiches and pickles. As many of you know, the only food I enjoy more than this (also a customary airplane carry-on) is Mexican food with avocados.
One of the more rewarding parts of the day was dessert in the desert, when we got popsicles after the sandwiches. That was perhaps the best popsicle I have ever eaten, the frozen goodness in the hot hot sun. It was also rewarding to do this work, when all my other yeshiva friends are in Israel, speaking English and reading from a book instead of really learning about Israel.
And for the record, let this activity not designate me as either orange or blue. Thank you.

More on the teachers later.

Meet the Rabbis

Since I have not been able to upload my pictures onto a computer to then put them onto this site, I will begin my social experience by mentioning some of the rabbis here. Today's entry: Rav Shmuel.

Rav Shmuel Reiner
Nickname: Albus Dumbledore, Captain Comb-over, Rab Reiner
Lives in: Tiberias
Favorite color: blue
Quotable: "Nitwit blubber oddment tweak!"

Rav Shmuel is the co-Rosh Yeshiva, along with Rabbi Bigman. He is rarely around, but when he is, you can always expect to see him in his blue button-down shirt, sandals, and his comb-over fluttering in the wind. Seriously, it makes Gomberg's comb-over look respectable. I have been told he is a brilliant man, but when he speaks, I never understand him, both for his Hebrew and his quiet and slurred speaches. I look forward to one day gaining from his wisdom. Or something like that.

Jerusalem and Back

I returned this afternoon from a weekend in Jerusalem. I stayed with my good friend and neighbor, Ariel J. Hausman, at his yeshiva, Ohr Sameach. He is in Shanah Gimmel (thought #1: at what point do we stop using letters? Shanah Kaf-Alef? Shanah Lamed?). We had a lot of fun: we went to a Shalom Zachar, Aufruf, and a tish. Lotsa fun Jewish stuff. We ate at the houses of people I didn't know who speak English and serve good food. I read Mitch Albom's interesting novel, "The Five People You Meet in Heaven," and prayed a lot (thought #2: ever been to a black hat synagogue's coat room? I mean, all the coats and hats look the same!)
That evening, we walked to Ben Yehuda Street and did some shopping, watched a Bnai Akiva sing-along, and threw rocks at the red string merchants (just kidding!). We got pizza at the Big Apple Pizzaria, and I ran into three people I know: Noah Mendelsohn, currently at Ner Yaakov and a member of Shalhevet's Class of 2005, and JJ Katz and Jonathan Feld, both formerly of Hebrew Academy of Miami and currently of Gush (I met them at Model UN two years ago). I talked to the Miami guys for awhile, comparing and contrasting our experiences over pizza. Ben Yehuda was fun, but felt very Americanized (thought #3: there are so many Americans, there have been rumors of allowing some Germans back into the German quarter) (thought #4: how many quarters are there? Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Armenian, German... am I missing something?)
Well, back to the holy books.
-YSB, Sh'lita (if I may)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Make that the kibbutz, rather. I'm currently on kibbutz Ma'aleh Gilboa, where the yeshiva of the same name is located. We have been here for a week and a half, and it's been quite an experience. A real challenge, both academically and socially, but I think (or hope) that I'm up to it.

I would love to write more, but the internet situation won't allow it: although we were promised internet in our rooms, the cable was cut when the neighboring building was being built over the summer, and we will be without internet there for a few more days. The only way I am able to post this message is that there is one internet computer in the Beit Midrash that everyone shares. So right now is my turn, and I'm using part of my time to apologize for this inconvenience. I hope internet will be up soon.

I have a lot of pictures to share with everyone, along with stories, descriptions of people, how the classes are going, and the abundance of cucumbers. But for now, I gotta run. Hope to be able to write again soon.
-Yoni

In the Holy Land!

Well, I'm here! I arrived in Israel after a flight through Toronto, and boy are my arms tired! Or something like that.

I am currently at the home of the Jacobys, one of my dad's friends, in a Jerusalem suburb called Tzur Hadassah. Getting over the jetlag is tough, but backgammon and reading have kept me awake. By the way, I finished Rabbi Aaron Parry's "The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Talmud," which was excellent, and am currently exploring the rationalization of God's existence in Lawrence Keleman's "Permission to Receive." Fascinating.

Well, tomorrow I should meet up with the rest of my Yeshiva in Jerusalem. And the fun should follow! Or something like that.

Hope everyone is having a restful and relaxed Shabbat (we're 10 hours ahead, so it's already over here).