You Know You're at Ma'aleh Gilboa When...

I was looking through my high school yearbook the other day when I came across the section labelled "You Know You're in Shalhevet When..." Some would claim to be clever by filling in the blanks with "...you enter the ex-hospital at 910 South Fairfax Avenue." Bad humor aside, it was kind of nostalgic, er, nice to reminisce over the little things that made Shalhevet what it was for me for four, er, five long years. So in mimicing my yearbook, recording the following for posterity, and not being able to think of anything else to write tonight, I present--

You Know You're at Ma'aleh Gilboa When...
- you look forward to a 7:00 a.m., crowded, two-hour van ride off the mountain.
- you expect wireless internet.
- bird droppings cover the gym floor.
- you get used to B.O. (bovine odor).
- "the view" is everywhere.
- pizza is cause of celebration.
- the English Jewish book section is banished from the Beit Midrash.
- the phrase "upstairs" and "downstairs" refer to "uphill" and "downhill," respectively.
- someone requests that the day be extended five hours.
- that request is taken seriously.
- [deleted for cliche purposes]
- people are checking soccer scores.
- nothing is mandatory, but people still show up.
- the only mandatory activity is, ironically, volunteering.
- the only rule is that you have to wear pants.
- the places you go are limited to five: the Beit Midrash, the dorms, the lunchroom, the laundry room, and the gym.
- you only see two girls: the former is the laundry lady, the latter is the lunchlady.
- you're not sure about the latter.
- university is four years away for most students.
- the sign-out sheet is only passed around for IN shabbats.
- people drink vodka with toothpaste/oatmeal powder for losing a card game.
- you need to know the Hebrew word for "tweezers."
- you get used to cottage cheese.
and finally...
- a cucumber isn't a food, it's a way of life.