This is only a test

You know how I discussed how ALEPH DELTA MAO holds tests to see who is worthy of admittance? Well, here is a test regarding the famous fraternity. Except, even if you score high, you probably won't be admitted. But it's fun, and, hey, that's what ALEPH DELTA MAO is all about.

INSTRUCTIONS: Read each question. Think about which answer-- (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) or (v)-- fits you best. Make a note on a small piece of paper/aluminum foil of what you select for each question. One response per question. Do not write your responses in a comment.

1. On my head, I wear:
(i) nothing
(ii) a hand-knitted green kippa
(iii) a hat made of llama fur
(iv) a Goofy kippa
(v) a plain green or black kippa

2. I shower:
(i) never
(ii) about once a day
(iii) whenever I get a chance, which could amount to every few days, or weeks, or whatever
(iv) every day, religiously
(v) every two days or so

3. My vision:
(i) is aided by big black thick glasses
(ii) is aided sometimes by contact lenses, sometimes by glasses
(iii) is aided by contact lenses exclusively
(iv) is aided by glasses
(v) is perfect

4. My eating habits include the following:
(i) nothing
(ii) grabbing a cucumber on the way to the Beit Midrash, since I missed breakfast
(iii) vegan foods
(iv) a salad of cucumbers, tomatoes, olives, cottage cheese, and the occasional carrot/hard boiled egg
(v) throwing everything I can find into a bowl and eating it

5. I stay in contact with people by:
(i) I don't
(ii) long phone calls to my friends
(iii) writing long letters and emails
(iv) writing emails and other online ventures
(v) talking to family via Skype

6. My hair is oft described as:
(i) sleek, shiny, and black
(ii) short
(iii) long and wavy and uncouth, representing my journey at yeshiva
(iv) curly
(v) Jewfro

7. During my free time, I like to:
(i) stare at the wall
(ii) make things out of clay
(iii) read and learn
(iv) go online
(v) watch episodes of "That '70's Show"

8. One of my shirts features:
(i) nothing
(ii) a rabbi, priest, rabbi, and imam holding hands
(iii) tie dye
(iv) the mantra "Eat. Sleep. Excercise."
(v) an advertisement for a chili cookoff

9. For excercise, I like to:
(i) do nothing
(ii) go running
(iii) do situps and play the occasional basketball
(iv) play basketball twice a week
(v) play frisbee

10. My primary role in ALEPH DELTA MAO is:
(i) poster child
(ii) resident optimist
(iii) photographer
(iv) supreme chancellor
(v) Honorary Member

Now, add up your scores. Award yourself one point for every (i), two points, for every (ii), three points for every (iii), four points for every (iv), and-- you guessed it!-- five points for every (v).

10 points or less: you are Edna, the poster in our room. You lead no life, but hey-- that's what posters do. Either that, or you are really really boring.
11-20 points: You are akin to Josh Tal. You are an optimist who infuses everyone with happiness, you are artsy, and habitually click your tongue. Either that, you just picked a lot of (ii)s.
21-30 points: Your ADM soulmate is named Ilan Caplan. You are going to Harvard, have an interesting taste in shirts, and are a cohen. Or, you picked a lot of (iii)s.
31-40 points: Congratulations, you are just like me (that's Yoni Bain, for those of you who don't know yet, though I can't imagine how). You are a leader, strikingly handsome, and have an excellent sense of humor. Though you may just have a penchant for the Roman numeral (iv).
41-50 points: You are an interesting hybrid of the Honorary Members David Mayer-Deutsch, Benjamin Epstein, and Micah Koplow. You have no real personality, but rather, you are combination of the cool features of others. Which, come to think of it, isn't really that bad. Then again, you may just have selected lots of (v)s. Or cheated. Cheater! Just kidding.

Just remember: this does not get you into ALEPH DELTA MAO. This was just for fun, to see whom you are most like. That is all.

This is only a test.

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