Ferdinand Found Dead!

The second night of Chanukah

“Sir, I have urgent news.”
“Yes?”
“Ferdinand is in sight, sir. Moving north on Keren HaYessod.”
“Do not lose him this time, Muffy. We have let Ferdinand elude us long enough. Tonight he pays for his crimes against The Solids.”
“Yes sir.”
“Oh, and Muffy?”
“Sir?”
“This time… no hairballs.”

I’m sure you have all heard of a catfight, yet you’d probably expect the participants to be two or more women (though the shrieking and scratching often seems strikingly feline). We wondered, on our way to Ben Yehuda Street today, if cats really have fights. Or maybe something larger that fights…

On Keren HaYessod Street today, we saw the dead form of a grayish tabby cat. We promptly named him Ferdinand. One would think it was merely asleep were it not for the small pool of blood around the head. Its eyes were glazed open, its mouth as though anticipating one last hairball. CPR was promptly called off. Someone joked that it appeared to be executed. I wondered.

Everyone makes a big deal about the rivalry between Cats and Dogs, but what about between the felines themselves? Surely, some animosity must exist. After careful research and hypothesis (or, more accurately, brainstorming random ideas about catfights), my assistant Michael and I determined that there is a centuries-old rivalry between the Solids and the Stripes. While this sounds very billiards-like, notice how solid-colored cats do not mix well with multicolored cats. Nevertheless, I managed to capture this photograph of a negotiation.

Beware of this conflict. Though most of the scrums fly under the radar, you do not want to find yourself on the wrong side of this schism. They have claws. You, and your curtains, have been warned.

This morning, the Samuels family (minus Rachel, arriving Thursday) arrived in Israel. Avi, Lizzie, Michael, Sarah, and David “Wavy” Samuels checked in around 10ish, and we thereafter went to Ben Yehuda Street to walk around. We passed the body of Ferdinand on the way. Revenge was in the air, though it could have been the cigarette smoke.
We had lunch, visited some shops, that kinda thing. In the afternoon, we walked to the shuk at Machaneh Yehuda to do some shopping. We went with one of my mom’s good friends, the Oxman family from Minnesota, in town for the Bar Mitzvah. For some reason, my mom thinks that it’s very funny how, while shopping, I wanted to buy a donut, but Daniel Oxman, who is a year older than me and is at a different program in Israel, wanted to “get some six-packs.” I didn’t see her point; I can get free alcohol in the Carmel Lounge, but jelly donuts are customary on Chanukah. Whatever.

Happy Holidays.