Shabbat Reflections

There is a saying at Bain Manor that comes up on certain Friday nights. The saying is thus: "who knows where we'll be next shabbat?" All right, that's more of a question than a saying, but the Bain tradition of asking this comes when the following shabbat will be spent at a different location, be it Palm Springs or New York or Israel. And this Friday night, right before kiddush, I asked myself, where will I be next shabbat?

Before I look forward to next shabbat, I should reflect on my last shabbat of the zman.

[To clarify the term zman (זמן): the word zman usually means "time," but at yeshiva it is perhaps better translated as "trimester." The three zmanim are Zman Elul (named for the month of Elul) which goes from early September to Sukkot break; Zman Choref (choref means winter), which covered November to April; and Zman Kayitz (kayitz means summer), which is from May to July. As you can see, not all zmans are created equal.

Now back to the story]

I think one of the things I will miss most, both about shabbat and the yeshiva in general, is the Kabbalat Shabbat. Yes, the melodies are beautiful, but I'll miss the dancing, the clapping, the real feeling of togetherness of the shiluv as welcome the shabbat. I can bring back a tune, but I can't bring back how everyone dances together in one massive circle, arm in arm, to the Jewish two-step.

Then, after the dinner, I went to the tish, a sort of shabbat party with slow songs and pretzels. This was only the second tish I can remember attending; the other was the first one of the year. Rav Gilad, who was filling in for Rav Bigman, and Rav Yitzchak gave speeches. I can't really remember what they were about, as I was preparing for my speech.

At the end of the speeches, I got up and began to speak. I mentioned something about beginnings and ends, and that I wanted to sing a Greek song from my Greek grandmother regarding that. As most of you may know, I neither have a Greek grandmother, nor do I know any Greek beyond my familiarity with fraternity names. Nevertheless, I passed out papers and had everyone sing: יומוא לדצה מאח לי לן. טשעס רשה נה. In English, this would be similar to something like "Hupeeb urth deyeel an." Simply put, when everyone unsuspectingly read the song really fast, it turned into יום הולדת שמח לאילן. תשע-עשרה שנה or "Happy birthday Ilan." Then Josh brought out the cake he had brought, and the celebration was complete.

Or so I thought.

We headed back to the room, and soon enough the salon was filled with about five times as many people as it is supposed to hold. We brought out some cake, some fruit juice, some alcohol (we needed to finish it before Pesach!), and listened to stupid stories, watched Ronen do his crazy Ronen shtick, and made shadow puppets. I don't think anything anyone said made any sense whatsoever, but that was okay. At twelve, Zev shooed everyone out at midnight ("it's no longer Ilan's birthday!) so he could go to sleep, and thus did all the tennants of Rooms 7-8 do.

Zev woke us all up for davenning this morning, and I arrived this morning on time so I could claim my seat before one of the shvushim could claim it. Shvushim! They were everywhere. I recognized some of them, as they had been here throughout the year to visit. That tall guy borrowed my old shoes to play basketball; that's the redhead; that guy looks like Professor Snape. In a way, it was kind of like a changing of the guard. These guys will be the future of the yeshiva-- well, at least most of the future; the most integral part, the Americans, were not here for shabbat.

Davenning was long. It was a double Torah reading with slow readers, and we just inched along, taking about two and a half hours. We had our usual pastry kiddush after we finished, and then we went back inside for the shiur by Rav Gilad. His theme was looking at the construction of the tabernacle before and after the sin of the golden calf, and Moses' theme in it all. The lecture was done in the typical Rav Gilad way, which is to say, eloquent, clear, and focused.

Lunch followed the speech, and food was once again none-too-memorable. Following lunch was an excellent game of Ultimate Frisbee. We had a four-on-four that was a lot of fun, at least until everyone got tired. I was glad to leave, as I had rolled my ankle stepping in one of the many holes that are for some reason in the middle of the grassy field. Then I played two games of Settlers of Catan, winning one.

Then there was seudah shlishit, ma'ariv, and shabbat was over. About the only thing missing was Cholent Bowl X, which we cancelled because people didn't want to do cholent this week (?!). The Big X, as we are calling it, will be the welcome-back-to-yeshiva-shabbat cholent instead.

My last shabbat in yeshiva before the break was a perfect summation of my Israeli shabbats, and perhaps of my Israeli experience in general. Israeli birthday celebration. Hebrew classes. Yeshiva food. Hanging out with Israeli friends. Davenning. Yeshiva experience.

It's interesting how my opinion of all these things has changed after my time in Israel. I used to think the late-night parties loud, boisterous, and inconsiderate. Last night, I organized one. I used to think I would never be able to follow a Hebrew shiur, both because of the Hebrew and the shiur. Today, I understood one completely. I used to think that yeshiva food was boring and bland. Today, I saw that I was completely right on that one. I used to think that the Israelis and Americans are two completely separate groups. Today, I played an inter-national frisbee game; the teams had teens of different cultures and languages, but at the end of the day, the teams were made up of teens. I used to think that davenning was a burden. Today, I realized that dancing and singing can help alleviate that load.

The bulk of my yeshiva time has just about come to a close. As in my senior year of high school, I expect the months of May and June to fly by. Hopefully, I'll maximize that time and get the most of it. Of course, I want to continue to delve into the Jewish knowledge, but if I can continue learning about myself, so much the better.