Surprise!

You know what I don't get? How the YMGuys still insist on throwing surprise parties, when the only thing that surprises me is that there are still more ways to throw a surprise party. On the water tower, in the migdal (other tower), outside the dorms, even during the Torah & Science class-- party planners not only want to be surprising, they want to be original. Go figure. I guess part of my skepticism is the fact that I have never had a surprise party; I guess being a hands-on guy has its drawbacks.

The past day featured not one, but two surprise parties. Yehuda, who turned nineteen last night, was surprised when about twenty guys were crammed into his roomed when he came to retire for the night. We all yelled "surprise," and, by law, Yehuda was surprised. We lifted him up on a chair nineteen times, a dangerous task when the overhead fan is whirling, and snacked on Hershey's Kisses and pretzels. Later on, we sang the blues to Yehuda's guitar accompaniment, and Yoni Kirby ranted and raved and sung like an idiot, even though he was one of the few who did not take a celebratory shot of whiskey. He says it was a Rav Yitzchak impersonation, though I, the master impressionist, disagree verily. I think the best comparison I can think of is a German leprechaun speaking Hebrew.

Contrast the festivities to today's welcome back party for Rav Elisha, who just came back from a two week adventure in America. Yehuda bought snacks, and we all hid under the tables. When Rav Elisha entered, we all yelled "surprise," but Rav Elisha, knowledgable in only Torah law, did not comply and act surprised. In fact, he launched right into a new topic about God knows what. I did learn two things that class, however. The first is that it is very difficult to listen to a class while crunching Bissli or Bugles. The other is that if you call Benjamin Epstein on his cell phone at the right moment, he will jump a foot in the air when he feels the shock of the vibrations. So I guess you can say that Benjamin Epstein, his phone on vibrate, is a walking surprise party himself.

Since I don't have anything else to write, I'll introduce two people I've been meaning to write about for awhile:

Rav Benny Holtzman
Nicknames: Redbeard, Big Ben
Teaches: Halacha
His voice is: surprisingly deep for someone so short

Rav Benny's main job is kibbutz rabbi, so he spends most of his time attending to kibbutz religious matters, whatever those may be. He teaches a class that does one Halacha a day (class meets to review once a week). I went to one of his classes in the first week; I haven't talked to him since. Actually, that's a bit misleading; I didn't talk to him during that lecture either. To clarify, I haven't been to any of his shiurim since that first one about the sun or a feather or something confusing.

Aryeh Bernstein
Aryeh has been living and studying here for the last six years, and I'm sorry to say that it has affected his taste buds in the most severe way. At most any meal, he places everything and everything he can find into a giant bowl, stirs, and enjoys. Chocolate spread, tomatoes, pasta, jelly, beets-- when we saw his bizarre concoction on our first day, we were convinced he has lost his sense of taste. And his actions since then have only strengthened those beliefs. Aryeh is part of the kolel, and learns much Torah, or so he tells me. Aryeh is from Chicago, likes the White Sox, and likes my last name, which, when pluralized, is almost like that of his favorite baseball player, Harold Baines.